God's Work

Family schedules and routines

I thrive on routine. I was wondering what everyone's cleaning, errand, life schedules and routines were. We used to do a big clean every saturday and then just keep the house picked up the rest of the week and do dishes and laundry as needed. When Kendall was born and I became an official stay at home mom I would deep clean one section of the house each day- laundry monday, dust on tuesday, bathrooms on wed. etc.- and still try to keep things picked up. I've fallen off the deep clean each week bandwagon lately and want to get back on in a way that meshes well with taking care of two kids.




So what are your schedules like? Does anyone do the fly lady route? Any tips or suggestions?

Really, are you sure?

OK here it goes, this a vent about myself.....

so after a long day of not showering, trying to clean my house, taking a nap and then a trip to the grocery store, I was waiting in line at "the Walmart", as my nephew says, in the pharmacy department to get some allergy medicine... yes I had allergies too that day, and the line was taking for-ev-er. I was getting super impatient, and started just looking around and getting irritated that only one register was open. Then, it became my turn, YEAH!!, and of course the medicine I needed had to be put in by a pharmacist, of course, anyways, so here I am, ready to scream..... and then the lady next to me says " excuse me, you have the best complexion". I think I said thank you, but I was TOO in shock to even blink.... I convinced myself she had to be joking... I mean here I am having a normal day with no makeup and hair slapped in a pony( a very small one) and she had the nerve to compliment me... yeah right....

So here's my vent:

why couldn't I have just taken the compliment and honestly say "thanks!!" and then possibly say something nice back? Why did I get defensive and convince myself she was insane?

Good Morning Mommy, I love you!

My son is 10 months old and maybe it's because I'm his mom, the cutest baby ever. This morning is my example of why! We had a rough night last night, (he still doesn't sleep all the way through the night, but I have been getting 6 hours in a row) He was up 3 times between 12 and 6 am.... yuck! Then this morning I hear him making the cutest noises in his crib, so I peek to see this cute little boy. He is all smiles and reaches up for his mom with Blankey in one hand and Paci in mouth, you could see the big grin past the paci, I give him a good morning squeeze which usually make my horrible nights sleep all worth it,

WHEN......

I smell it, I feel it, and it stinks! That's right ladies BLOW OUT! Up the back, out the legs, you name it! He was so proud of himself, I was trying to not get it everywhere, it was almost up to mid back, so as I was trying to not make him swim in it, but he was kicking and twisting, and of course his new favorite, love to check with his hand to make sure all privates are there and accounted for!

AAHHHH!!!

Well, that's how my morning started, and yet I love him still! Hope you have a great day!

Baby Blues....

I just needed to know, of all the women who read this blog, how many got "the baby blues" and for how long? With my first child, I went into a depression so bad the Dr. medicated and counseled me... that lasted over a year. Now with my son turning two months I'm finding it harder and harder to get out of bed and shower. I'm nervous, does this happen to all moms, is it just me? Am I horrible for feeling this way when the people close to me (my sister) are struggling with a loss, and I can't even deal with my issues? HELP

All for one, one for all... or evey man for himself?

I have been thinking a lot about chores lately, I don't know if it's because I am still on bed rest, or just the simple fact that things are not getting done around the house... The obstacle I have run into is:

Do you make sure everyone is in charge of their own stuff, i.e. the kids book bag, shoes, socks, dishes, mail, etc.... their own responsibility, or make it universal, if you see it lying there... pick it up, it doesn't matter who's it is, we are a team and with that, we all need to work together?

Or are there limits to what we should be expecting our children, and I'll say it, our husbands to do? Maybe Because I've had to do it by myself for 5 years, I might be more aware now, but come on.... Do I really have to be in charge of EVERYONE'S stuff?

Is it wrong to give our Kids and Hubby's chores, and at what age is it OK for our children? My daughter is 6 going on 7 and I expect a lot from her.... but with the new baby coming.... can I give her more, should I? And what about Hubby, does his load increase too?

~Help!~

Bed Rest...What's that?

So I am now 32 weeks prego and have been put on bed rest, not to be mean, but yeah right! What really is bed rest, is there such a thing, and in a 12 hour day just how many are we actually supposed to rest. I mean if kids, the house, food , and the husband all take care of them selves, then yeah maybe, but those are just dreams right? any suggestions?

Time Management

I sometimes wish there was a few extra hours in the day so I could get more done. I came across this article on babycenter.com called "Busy mom's guide: How to do everything faster (and better!)" They listed 50 ways to save time and here are a few that I thought might be worth a try. What are some of your time-saving techniques?

*When you see a great toy on sale, buy several and sock them away for your child to give to friends at birthday parties throughout the year.
*Give your grade-schooler a "homework box" with pencils, an eraser, a stapler, a calculator, and a ruler. Ask her to bring it to the table whenever it's time to do homework.
*Stock your produce drawer or a lower shelf in your refrigerator with snacks like carrot sticks and apple slices that your kids can grab without your help. Set up a similar area in your pantry with baggies full of dried fruit or graham crackers.
*Store sets of sheets and pillowcases inside unfolded pillowcases to make bed changes fast and easy and minimize clutter in your linen closet.
*Start a monthly meal exchange program with friends and neighbors. (Mical, you'll have to let us know how this works out for you)
*Chop all your vegetables, fruits, and herbs for the week's meals at one time so everything will be ready for cooking.
*Keep disinfecting and glass wipes in the bathroom for quick cleanups around toilets, sinks, and mirrors. You could even do a speedy wipe-down while you bathe the kids.
*Choose meats or other proteins that can be used for several meals during a week. A store-bought rotisserie chicken can be shredded and used for several dishes, like chicken enchiladas, homemade chicken soup, and chicken salad. Slow-cooked pork tenderloin can double as barbecued pork sandwiches with just a bottle of barbecue sauce. Cooked beans can go in salad, tacos, and vegetable soup.
*Keep an overnight bag in your car with an extra outfit for each child, including diapers or underwear, nonperishable snacks, and toiletries. In the event of an emergency, messy meal, or whirlwind overnight trip, you're set!
*Keep a pack of thank-you cards in the glove box of your car or in your daily planner so you can write notes while sitting in the car or waiting for a doctor to see you.

There are some other articles that might be useful http://www.babycenter.com/parents-managing-time-housework

Highlight of my day

Lily and I have a little routine when she wakes up in the morning and again after her nap. She sleeps upstairs and after I get her out of her crib, she either sits on my lap or gets on my back holding tight around my neck, and we slide down the stairs on my bum. We count each step and then she slides down my legs when we get to the bottom. Today she was hanging on my back with her soft little arms around my neck and her cheek pressed against mine. I couldn't see her face, but I know she was smiling and I realized how much I love our stair sliding ritual. Maybe it was Tara's post about enjoying and being grateful for what we have, but it made me think about how much joy these small and simple activities can bring us.

I'm Invisible

I'm Invisible

-It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids walks into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside, I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: "Can you fix this?" "Can you tie this?" "Can you open this?" Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. "She's going, she's going, she's gone!"

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. Then, if there is anything to say to his friend, it could be, "You're gonna love it here!"

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.-

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I got this off my birth board and I thought is was sweet. It gives me perspective which I'm always needing.

Moms can't take sick days

I've been dealing with sick kids all week, fighting it off myself and then BAM, I wake up this morning thinking I seriously would rather die than get out of bed and try to do what I needed to do. Have you ever been too sick to get out of bed? Aside from post labor and delivery, I can't ever remember being like this. My six year old made breakfast for herself and her siblings while I laid in bed crying and wanting my mommy. Pathetic, right? Sadie walked around with a poopy diaper for who knows how long till I could finally bribe her to climb up on my bed and then bribe her brother to bring me wipes and a diaper. Why can't we take sick days? This is one of those days I wouldn't have survived without other good moms. My neighbor took Kenzi to school for me and another friend picked her up and took her to her house all afternoon, all without me asking. They just called, not knowing I was sick, and asked if they could do that for me today. Sadie took a 3 hour nap and my sweet Will played in my bedroom for two hours so I could rest while Sadie did. My husband forgot something for work and came home to get it right as the kids were asking for lunch, so he fixed some for the kids so I didn't have to and then went back to work. All coincidence? I think not. I know the Lord knew I just needed some help today. Would I have preferred a sick day? Yes, but I'll take what I can get gratefully.

Mother Who Needs to Know

Help! I have been asked to take part in a discussion group tomorrow. I am to lead a discussion on Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers and I have no idea what I am going to say. The girl who arranged all this wants only positive reinforcement of Julie Beck's talk and will not accept dissenting opinions. So all the interesting questions and PhD babble that my professor husband and I came up with is out the the window. That said, I do agree with this section of the talk, I just find it hard to measure up.

Here's that section of the talk:

Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers (segment taken from Julie Beck's talk in GC)

"Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness. To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens bet in a "house of order," and women should pattern their homes after the Lord's house. Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women." 

Any insights or tips on this topic would be greatly appreciated. I am especially interested in what people have to say that actually have a house of order (April and Stephanie, you know what I am talking about, your houses are always super clean). How does everyone balance the nurturing and housekeeping and keep everyone happy? I must admit for those of Katy's friends who haven't been to my house that I am a terrible housekeeper. I do play with my kids a lot and read to them and make crafts. I taught Aidan how to make rice krispie treats. He did it all by himself and they were delicious. The only chores my kids do are cleaning their rooms, taking out the trash and compost and occasionally mopping or vacuuming. I guess they do yard work with Collin sometimes.  

Also, my mom and stepmom are not what I would call the nurturing kind, at least not towards me. For those who don't know my family history, it contains 4 generations of divorce on my mom's side and two on my dad's side. I am pretty much the only active girl in 4 that were baptized. Two of my sisters have never been members of the church and my mom is not a member. I have two bi-sexual sisters and three of my 5 sisters live with their boyfriends. (And that is only the tip of the iceberg folks.) I am the only currently married one. One is divorced. It is lonely to be LDS in my family sometimes.

I didn't learn to cook until after I was married and it was a frustrating to concoct inedible meals so often. Collin employed a lot of tact during our first few years as a married couple. 

April and John have been wonderful examples to me. They really live the principles of nurturing and it shows in their home and children. Their kids are all caring, nurturing parents and all around wonderful people. I feel really grateful to have married UP in this respect. Thanks April and John!

I know some of you are not LDS. I hope you are not offended by this post. If you are a mother, you are a nurturer and that is what I want to hear about. Thanks all.