Swine Flu Paranoia!

So, I officially hate pigs. What is your take on the Swine Flu Outbreak that is taking over our media outlets and our minds? My daughter has a weak immune system (as some of you know or don't know we were in the hospital for 3 weeks in Dec.08 and Jan 09, she had a MRSA pneumonia). She gets whatever is out there first. I am really worried that she will contract this virus if it isn't contained. I know that viruses can't be treated by antibiotics, I do know that the Tamiflu is what they are using to fight this and that there is no vaccine yet. What I am interested in is this...

#1 Should I be as worried as I am?

#2 Is the hype justified?

Maybe I just need reassurance from my peers!

Ideas for a Cry Baby

So my second oldest daughter, who is two-and-a-half, is a big cry baby. Her solution to everything is to cry. Cry, cry, cry. I tell her to sit at the table; she cries. She can't get her sock off; she cries. Her baby sister takes her toy; she cries. I tell her the milk is all gone; she cries. Her older sister tells her to do anything; she cries. It's not her turn yet; she cries. It's time to pick up toys; she cries. I remove a fork from her hand; she cries. She has to take one bite of her food; she cries. You get the idea. She cries, she cries, she cries. And it's not like she whimpers. She cries like someone chewed off her arm. I have tried a variety of tactics to get her to stop this behavior. I've ignored it. I've had her stand in the corner. I've tried to teach her to use her words. I've had her repeat whatever it was that made her cry until she does it without crying. I've cried with her. I've encouraged her to cry louder (as if she could!), for reverse psychology's sake. I've sprayed water on her face. This one is by far the most effective because it's startling and she immediately forgets what all the fuss was about, but it's hard for me to carry the spray bottle everywhere. And I'm mildly opposed to treating her like a cat. Any other ideas? I'm afraid of what she'll end up like at school, or at a music lesson, or on a sports team, when someone asks her to do something, she struggles, and then the tears flow, as if that's the solution. Any ideas on how to teach her to stop this behavior?

Monkey See Monkey Do

So, I wanted your opinion on this item. I recently purchased this Backpack/Harness, but lets be honest, it is really a leash. I got it because when I set Elianna down to grab something in the truck she takes off and I would be mortified if she ran out into the street or road. I also bought it because, we are taking our family vacation at the end of September to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. This would be perfect, I can keep her in range and not be totally stressed trying to keep her right next to me at all times. This would let her get tired too, sitting in the stroller doesn't have the same effect. She isn't physically doing anything. She is a busy body. This would allow her to roam but safely. What do you think about it? Am I seriously sick minded?

Potty Training

I need help with training my daughter. The only time she goes is when she is really relaxed (naptime and night sleeping). I have her sit on the "potty" after she gets up, before nap, before bed at night and anytime she wants to but there has been nothing. Does it take along time for them to get the hang of it or is she still too young?

What to do?

This weekend we helped our neighbors move as well as worked on our house. They were moving because, Jan the wife has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I realize that this is the worst thing to do for a newly diagnosed patient, however the couple are in their 70's so who am I to tell them what is up? So, a readers digest version, their daughter and son in law live kitty corner from us. They helped out as well. We were invited to go over for a BBQ and swim, thank you dinner at 5:00 pm. The couple that we moved didn't attend because they were exhausted, but their Daughter and son in law, overtook their pool and newly empty house. We didn't want to go, but we wanted to be hospitable. While we were eating I witnessed the worst verbal abuse towards the 10 year old son (of the daughter and son in law) from his father. He swore at him and barked orders and told him to do it this way with lots of profanity. I had to bite my tongue, I am not fond of this gentleman already from previous incidents. I felt uncomfortable so we left shortly after this occurred. Then, we met our friends Paul and Julie who came over with their 5 kids to help us install the A/C unit in our house. While this was happening their adopted son and real son were outside shooting the air soft gun at things, trees, cats, the fence. Anyhow, the daughter of our neighbor saw this and came over running and yelling at this child, we knew that she was drinking (hence the can in her hand) but Mario and I just left their parent's house, she said she hadn't eaten anything. Anyway she was yelling and ranting and raving. Julie and I didn't go outside, because I told Julie, she was probably Drunk because she hadn't eaten anything and had been drinking, since 10:30 that morning! I didn't want to fuel the fire while she was inebriated! So she yelled for about 5 minutes at this adopted child, who was removed from an emotional abusive and physically abusive household and placed with Paul and Julie. This drunk neighbor called the cops on this little 10 year old adopted kid saying that he was shooting cars with a "BB" gun.

I want to say something to this women, but I don't know if it will go anywhere or will have any positive influence or impact on her. I lost sleep over it because I was embarrassed for the yelling woman, her son and Julies' adoptive son. I want to tell her that my heart was broken from listening to her husband yell at her son that way and how dare she allow that to occur! That maybe that was how she talked to her son (doesn't make it right) but that is not how she talks to other children. That, if she has a problem with my guests kids, she needs to take it up with me and the parent of the child. I want to tell her that she may not come onto my property again drunk and yelling or I will get the appropriate authorities involved. I want to tell her that if she needs a friend to talk to or help, that I will help her out.

What do you think, should I leave it alone, is it a moot point?

Helicopter vs. Free-Range Parenting

This columnist let her 4th grade son ride the New York subway by himself and stirred up some controversy. Check out the article 4th Grader Rides Subway and her blog Free-Range Kids.

My feelings on this are mixed. Aidan will be in 4th grade next year and I don't even know if I am going to let him ride the school bus because it is mixed with 4th grade up through high school kids.

I grew up in a non-traditional family situation. At my dad's house on weekdays we had really strict rules: curfew, couldn't be out driving after a certain time, couldn't eat certain foods that were normal in other houses and on and on. On the weekends I would go to my mom's house and there weren't any rules over there. My mom's car only seated 5 so two of us rode in the trunk area (it was a station wagon type of car). My sister almost drowned in the ocean because we went swimming and there was a strong undertow and my mom had no idea where we were at the time. Before I moved in with my dad, I lived with my mom in Hawaii. She let me walk home from school as a Kindergartener and a man followed me home once and was trying to get into the house while I hid under my bed praying he would go away or that my mom would come home. Another time she left me in a sugar cane field on the side of a highway and drove off. She still says to this day that she would have left me there if my little sister hadn't been crying so long and loud for her to go back and pick me up. I rode the Bay Area Rapid Transit (subway system in Northern California) from the time I was 10 to get to my mom's house on the weekends. Once a man was staring at me from across the aisle and touching himself. Actually, a lot of that kind of thing happened to the girls in my family and it stunk!

I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like had I been a little less neglected by my mom and a little more trusted by my dad. It is true that at my dad's house I walked to school and was allowed to ride my bike all over the place until dark and without a helmet. I was allowed to have sleep overs.

Now as a parent I am way too cautious. I do let my kids ride the school bus and most of the time walk home from the bus stop, but the bus stop is only one house away. I let them play outside, but only in the backyard and it is fenced in and I am secretly checking on them about every 20 minutes. When they ride bikes in the neighborhood I go with them. If they want to play with a friend that isn't right next door, I walk them over. I don't allow them to have sleep overs. I am afraid to take them camping because of weirdoes and wild animals. So I guess I am in the helicopter camp. I don't like them to play at a friend's house if only the dad is home. I teach my kids what to do if they do get lost, they know their phone number, etc., and what types of people to go to for help (a mom with kids, someone with a name tag, etc.,). I wish I could be more of a free-ranger, but my childhood was more like A Series of Unfortunate Events than Little Women.

Is the world a scarier place than when we were kids? What do you all think? What type of parent are you?

How crunchy are you?

Stephanie's nursing post got me thinking about parenting styles and how different all of us choose to parent our children. Not right or wrong, just different. I lean toward attachment parenting styles and only don't do many of the things that other AP moms do out of laziness. Here is a quiz about how ''crunchy'' you are. I'm kinda hippie and would be more so if I was a little more productive by nature and if my husband was AT ALL, which he's not. He whines that I spend 5 dollars a month on a recycling can when I can just throw all that stuff away for free.

So... how crunchy are all of you.I scored 106 so I'm only kind of crunchy.

http://www.themoralesfamily.us/granola.htm

The "S" word

I know it is hard to believe, but this adorable girl has a potty mouth. Lily is obsessed with the word "stupid." It started a couple months ago with Ollie. He started saying "stupid" and I immediately told him that it was not a nice word and he should not use it. Well, that just got him saying it even more. After several warnings, I tried time-outs. Didn't help. It got so bad that it was practically involuntary for him. I finally started to ignore it. This worked pretty well after a while. He still says the "S" word on occasion, but usually it is to tell on someone else for saying it. I am very glad that Ollie has learned better, but unfortunately, he taught his little sister the word in the process. Lily probably says "stupid" more times a day than any other word. She uses it in the songs she sings, talking to her toys, and to show her frustration if someone doesn't do what she wants them to. I have tried the ignore method, but since Ollie has become the "S" word police, he brings it to our attention every time she says it. Anyone have a solution for me? I'm sure she'll get bored of it eventually, but I'm wondering how many people she will insult in the mean time.