It's been a family tradition (for many generations) to not give girls middle names. It bothered me for a time when I was younger that everyone had a middle name but me. Then it became a cool thing, because most people hated their middle names and luckily, I wasn't plagued with one. Now that I'm married, I'm really glad that I only have three names, that I didn't feel like I had to choose one name over another, and that I've been able to retain all my names without being cumbersome. I've been wondering where this tradition began. Is it a Mormon/Utah thing? My husband's family is from Utah, and they have the same tradition. How many of us don't have middle names? Are you happy about that, or do you feel gypped? If you don't have a middle name, did you carry on the tradition for your daughters, or did you break tradition? If you broke tradition, what was your reason? I've heard some people complain that they feel like not giving girls middle names is sexist, since the boys merited three names. What do you think? If you do have a middle name, did you legally keep your first, middle, maiden, and married names, or did you leave something out? What made you choose to include or exclude certain names? And April, you have a middle name, right? But you didn't give your daughters middle names. How did you make that decision?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Middle Names
It's been a family tradition (for many generations) to not give girls middle names. It bothered me for a time when I was younger that everyone had a middle name but me. Then it became a cool thing, because most people hated their middle names and luckily, I wasn't plagued with one. Now that I'm married, I'm really glad that I only have three names, that I didn't feel like I had to choose one name over another, and that I've been able to retain all my names without being cumbersome. I've been wondering where this tradition began. Is it a Mormon/Utah thing? My husband's family is from Utah, and they have the same tradition. How many of us don't have middle names? Are you happy about that, or do you feel gypped? If you don't have a middle name, did you carry on the tradition for your daughters, or did you break tradition? If you broke tradition, what was your reason? I've heard some people complain that they feel like not giving girls middle names is sexist, since the boys merited three names. What do you think? If you do have a middle name, did you legally keep your first, middle, maiden, and married names, or did you leave something out? What made you choose to include or exclude certain names? And April, you have a middle name, right? But you didn't give your daughters middle names. How did you make that decision?
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I LOVED not having a middle name. It made me feel special and different. And I so so SO love that now McKinney is my middle name. McKinney has so much meaning to me, it's my blood and family, compared to some random name that might have been chosen just because it flowed well. It happened to be a tradition in Dave's family too so it worked out great. Corban and Gage have middle names and Kendall doesn't.
I don't think it's sexist either. I don't think it's bad to hope your daughter will someday marry a man that she wants to share a name with. This way she doesn't have to give anything up to do that.
I have a middle name and I liked having one. Amber Lynn. When I got married I change my social security card to included two middle names with my maiden name. I wasn't ready yet to let go of my maiden name and I was jealous that it wasn't as confusing for my girl cousins who didn't have original middle names, they could just stay McKinney forever. But, at least I had a choice of which names I wanted to keep. What if your maiden name sounds weird with your maried name, then do you just still have no middle name?.
Once, I was being set apart for a calling (if you are LDS you know) and the man ask my name full name was and I told him all four names and he lectured me about how girls now days are trying to prove something by keeping there maiden names, anyway that a whole other topic. Now, I identify myself with out the maiden name because I know my roots and I don't need to have a freaky long signature.
I plan to give my daughters middle names because I have so many I want to use I couldn't choose just one!!!
I have a middle name. It is Dominique and we gave Emma the same middle name. Aidan has the same middle name (Shields) as Collin, John and Terry McKinney. Ian has April's maiden name (Mansfield) as his middle name. I like having a middle name and was really happy to drop my maiden name for several reasons, one being that it is kind of boring: Miller. We considered not giving Emma a middle name a la McKinney girls, but my younger sister doesn't have a middle name (she is the only one in 8 kids that doesn't have one) and always felt bad about it. In Latin America and Spain children have both their father's and mother's last name. So Aidan would have been Aidan Shields McKinney Miller which is quite a mouthful! I would be Tara Dominique Miller Zola McKinney if I was following latino/hispanic tradition. Crazy huh?
I don't have a middle name and Ellie doesn't either. I have loved keeping Anderson as my middle name, and I am glad that Becker will always be a part of Ellie's name. I do think that middle names can make simple names super cute though, so either way works for me. I kind of think that it is a Mormon thing, my husband's family is from Michigan and LDS and the girls don't have middle names either.
By the way I am the worst at posting on this blog, but I love reading what all of you always have to say!
I also liked not having a middle name growing up and am glad to have McKinney now. Lily does not have a middle name and I'm assuming that this baby girl will not either. For me it's not about how it sounds, but passing something meaningful on (Ollie's middle name is Bair which is his great-grandma's maiden name). If I did give them middle names I would do family names anyway, so it might as well end up as Anderson.
I sometimes felt bad about not having a middle name, as I was constantly teased about my last name Decker. Black and Decker Ecker stepper (I cleaned this one up). So, I sometimes felt bad. I loved being able to keep my maiden name in my name Lisa Decker Gomes. It reminds me of where I came from. I didn't really want to give our daughter a middle name, but the Portuguese are very set in their ways. So I compromised with my husband Mario and came to the agreement to pick a unique first name that is not common, Elianna and then combine both our names for her middle name Mar-isa! So that is her middle name. Elianna Marisa Gomes. It will be up to her which she chooses to keep when she marries. I always thought it was an LDS thing though?
I have the middle name Elizabeth and I gave it to Sevrie. My mom also has this name so it's been really special for the three of us to share that. When I got married, I dropped my maiden name and took on McKinney. I can see how some may feel a sense of loss doing that, but if that's the case, don't drop your maiden name.
I never knew girls didn't have middle names before meeting the McKinney's. While I thought it was weird then, I can see why people do it now. It's all preference, but I don't think there's anything wrong with having a middle name AND keeping your maiden name. It might just be a little longer then most.
I think April even sometimes just goes by April Mansfield McKinney. Is that right April?
I have a middle name as Morgan. In a way I thought I was special with a middle name since my mom told me that I was named after a ballet theater. but I hated it because it was a universal name. I like it now that my son has both my husbands middle name and mine. (Asa Morgan). As for my daughter she also has a middle name. She was named after both my husbands grandmother and my grandmother. (Gwen Audrain) I give a middle name that didn't have some meaning for the girl. It's not a tradition in my husbands family but it is in mine. I dropped my maiden name as soon as I could! If you knew who my father was you may understand.
I don't know your father, but I had a crappy one myself so I totally understand.
Robyn... I just now saw the blog, and I may repeat what others have said, but this is how I feel. In my generation, there were a few common middle names and many girls I knew had them: Marie, Lynn, and Louise. My middle name is Louise, and as far as I know... there was never any particular meaning behind it. I think my parents just think it sounded good with April.
I started using Mansfield as my middle name long before it became cool, or a statement for women. I always felt like a Mansfield... just like my girls will always be "McKinneys" even though they are married. For me... it is part of my identity. I am a Mansfield. I belong to the Mansfield clan, family... whatever.
I know that middle names have meaning to a lot of people, but personally... it is my first and last name that is meaningful to me. Like it has been mentioned... having a woman use her maiden name as her middle name makes genealogy a whole lot easier, too.
I think my girl are both happy that they have no middle name, because they have not given their girls middle names, either.
How interesting. I've never heard about this before. I don't know that I would say it was an LDS thing though. I think girls just don't get a middle name cuz their parents don't want them to have a mongo huge name after they get married.
I like having one and I like giving my kids one. I want to pass on a family name for each of them, but if I don't really love the names I can make them middle names.
My husband's family gives ALL their girls the middle name Anne. He wanted to do the same. I agreed for my first girl, but then Sadie broke the tradition. She got Sadie Rae, after my dad, whose middle name was Ray. I think of it as a way to pass on family names, but not necessarily ones that you'd use for first names. I would have passed one my maiden name to my son, but Weeks is kind of a strange one, so we opted not to.
I think Weeks is a great middle/maiden name!
i always thought it was strange when lds people didn't give girls a name so they could use their maiden name when they married. what if your daughter doesn't marry??? anyone ever thought of that? whatever you chose, make it a family name with a legacy.... please people, everyone in the rest of the world has 5 or 6 names.
I was given a middle name, and I am SO glad because my maiden name would not have sounded good at ALL with my new last name. I'm really glad I got to choose, and I also know and will remember where I came from, so I don't think it's that important whether or not you choose to keep a middle name.
As for the Utah/Mormon thing, I had NEVER heard of a girl without a middle name until I came to Utah 3 years ago. So it must be! Either that or a Western U.S. thing. I grew up in North Carolina and everybody had middle names. Everyone. Anyway, that's random, but yeah, I'll be giving my future daughters middle names and I will let them choose which one they keep one day when they grow up and get married! :)
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