Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Three's a crowd

Well, I am sure no one has noticed, but I haven't posted in a while. I had a baby three weeks ago and I am just coming out of no man's land-- well kind of.



Just wanted a little advice...

See that little mischievous blond in the picture. That's Mia. She was fine with baby when he first came home, but novelty is wearing off. She's now experimenting... stepping on him, trying to pick him up and other nonchalant acts of violence toward him- plus she's turned up the water works and fit throwing about 10 fold. She's 3, she's now the middle child, and I am not sure what to do with her.
I am also tired of saying "don't touch the baby" when the kids throw themselves literally on top of him or have their faces constantly in his. I don't want them to resent him, or me.
Help?

6 comments:

Thomas Family said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm really laughing out loud right now. Heehee.

Robyn said...

I am in the same boat and I have absolutely no advice. I'm really running out of ideas. Here's the problem I've encountered. My 3 year-old cannot keep her face out of the baby's, can't be gentle, doesn't care that the baby is too fragile to play with, and does naughty things to her ANY time my back is turned (and otherwise). Her favorite thing to do to the baby is shout in her face, which makes the baby flinch. She thinks this is SO fun, and she'll do it while I'm even holding the baby and then when she's punished for it, it's like she's surprised, like she didn't even know what she did. GRRR! This isn't unexpected because our daughter is part devil, but I've got to try to fix this, devil or not. I have dealt out every punishment I can come up with to try to curb this behavior (including her worst punishment, which is being restrained in my lap of all odd things). My newborn is only 3.5 months old, and she already instinctively flinches when Ada approaches her within five feet.

I've thought that maybe it's just a need for attention (which I'm sure is at least part of it), but she'll especially do these things when she thinks it's secretive. I've tried teaching her how to positively interact with the baby (singing, peekaboo, gently tickling, etc.), and she's good at all of those things, but it doesn't stop her from additionally doing the things that are mean, because they are really fun to her. She enjoys the baby's reaction to these mean things. I've tried making her feel empathetic by showing her how sad it makes the baby, and when that didn't work, doing the mean things back to her so she'd know what it feels like. Nothing.

I can't come up with a punishment that makes these activities of hers NON-fun. It seems that no consequence is great enough. Maybe it's a 3 year-old thing she'll have to grow out of. I don't know. My 20 month-old is very gentle with the baby. If anyone has suggestions, I'm all ears, because I'd rather not feel like gouging her eyes out every other second. It gets old.

Chelsea Anne said...

I am pregnant with my third and I am afraid that I will be in the same boat. I think that my oldest boy will be fine with the new baby, but I am nervous about Faith. She loves babies and I am sure will be in the babies face all the time. I hope it is just that though, because she does love to tease.

If you find anythings that work, I would love to know. I am nervous because everyone says that 3 put them over the edge.

Good luck!

Thomas Family said...

heeheehee. Still laughing.

fünf said...

Firstly, Alysia, you are just plain mean and I hate you.

(anyone wondering... we are pretty much sisters and I can say that.)

Alright, now where's the 3rd child guru that has the great advice for us??

Britney and Jaren Jensen said...

I just had my third baby 2 months ago and I sometimes wonder how these new little ones even survive. Seriously, what part of LEAVE THE BABY ALONE do they not get!!! My biggest pet peave is when we're traveling in the car and my 4 yr. old wakes up the baby by pulling off the blanket, smothering Dallin with her face, or what ever it is she's doing to make him go from a sleeping slumber to a screatching cry. Of course I feel as though I'm going to wreck trying to keep her off of him. Sorry I haven't mastered any great advice to help out. Maybe you can give your 3 yr. old some one on one time so she feels special? Who knows?