Saturday, August 30, 2008
Baby Blues....
I just needed to know, of all the women who read this blog, how many got "the baby blues" and for how long? With my first child, I went into a depression so bad the Dr. medicated and counseled me... that lasted over a year. Now with my son turning two months I'm finding it harder and harder to get out of bed and shower. I'm nervous, does this happen to all moms, is it just me? Am I horrible for feeling this way when the people close to me (my sister) are struggling with a loss, and I can't even deal with my issues? HELP
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6 comments:
Heather you're are DEFINITELY not the only one who suffers from this. And don't be ashamed! Although I didn't have to deal with this, I know it's more common then people think. For whatever reason, women aren't prepared to deal with post partum depression. It's like you've never heard of it until you're suffering from it.
And don't blame yourself! As much as you try to be "happy" something's happening chemically that you can't control. Something you may want to try is exercising. Walk in the morning or in the evening when the weather is nicer. Make sure you're getting enough nutrients in your diet. And rest.....make sure you're getting enough rest. Sleep depravation is enough to make any women down and out.
Keep your head up. This will soon pass. Just do some research and look into ways YOU can help yourself. Medication is always available, but if you can beat it without taking that road, I would recommend that.
Good luck Heather! Imagine having twins:-) I'll be the one seeking advice soon;-)
I second Stephanie. I think all women get it in someway or another. If I don't get enough sleep it's a lot worse. It's hard when you have more kids to get rest but hopefully you can find the time. When my babies get to be around 4 or 5 months and is sleeping better through the night I'm a ton happier and working out helps like stephanie said.
Good luck you are doing the best you can.. I'm sure you are a great mother... You're a supermom!
Heather, you are not alone. I have not had baby blues very bad, but I was really lucky. I did find it hard to get out of bed and shower because the thought of what the heck I was going to do with my first two kids (20 months apart) was so daunting.
My mother had post partum depression so bad that she packed my newborn sister and I in the car and drove off in the middle of the night to another state and stayed there with us for a couple weeks. My dad didn't really know what was going on or where she was.
It is a really good sign that you are seeing the signs of it yourself. That means that you are still in control. I agree with Stephanie about the exercise. I have noticed a big difference in myself when I exercise in my general mood. Also, make sure you have other mothers to talk to. It really helps to continue to be social so you don't feel trapped or alone. Hang in there.
I too believe that this too shall pass. It is normal to have the blues. Exercise will definitely bring out the happy hormone that is naturally produced in our bodies when we exercise. Your hormones are totally out of whack and they are trying to get back to normal or as normal as they can be. Baby blues are totally normal so don't be embarrassed or ashamed. I didn't suffer from post-pardum depression but I know people who have and they were medicated for about 2 years after their child's birth. Talk about it, if you feel that you are going to harm yourself or your kids, get help! Get a doctor's appointment set up an appointment with your obgyn. or talk to them about it and your next check up. They are really cautious about post pardum here in Modesto, so I am sure they are as well in Sac. Exercise, go for walks, it is cooler today so have at it. Get out, have your hubby take care of the kids and go get your toes and or nails done! Pray! Prayer will help out in this situation as well.
Well you ladies are lucky. I DID suffer from it and it's hell. With Corban I was depressed for other reasons- obviously- and I don't remember going through anything apart from grief. I was sad and cried after Kendall was born for a month or two but it wasn't anything worrisome to me and I knew it was just hormones going bonkers.
I had a really hard time after Gage was born. A really hard time. I was sad and lethargic and weepy but mostly I had INTENSE feelings of being a failure as a mother and wife. I felt like such a terrible mother. Part of me knew that what I was going through was hormonal and out of my control and blah blah blah... but that didn't help me not cry or feel like a piece of crap. It was awful and scary and I don't think anyone knew how bad it was until it was already starting to get better because I didn't talk about it with anyone. I was deeply embarrassed about it and talking about it, acknowleging it just made me feel like a bigger failure and loser.
I wish I would have gotten help. I guess because I thought it was partially due to post partum crap that it would eventually go away. And it did. But it took a freaking year to. And can you imagine how much better that year would have been if I had help dealing? If I didn't spend so much time hating myself?
So... that's my advice. Know that you're not alone, that's it's NOT your fault, and that there is help available. You can talk to people online for support- babycenter.com has a GREAT community of women who have fantastic information. And I would talk to someone professional if you can. They have tools and insight that are sure to be helpful. And you've already taken the first step which is telling people. Now we- the people who love you- can keep you and your family in our prayers. Heavenly wants you to be happy and He will help you too.
Take care of yourself, Heather, and know that we all love and support you. We're here whenever you need us.
Great advice girls. I agree with all of that. I also had depression, and I got to tell you, if I didn't want to get up and in the shower, then there was no way I was going to get up and exercise, let alone socialize or anything of that nature. Unfortunately no one knew, including me, what was going on, so it took over a year till I got some help. I still feel so sad and guilt ridden that Kenzi's first year of life I was a bump on a log.
My advice would be to get help now. Your kids are only young once and nothing is worth missing out on those special times. Don't feel guilty or ashamed to take meds. If you are as bad as I was, then you don't have it in you to get up and exercise and go outside and do all the other things they recommend. By all means try that first, but I firmly believe that God has blessed us these days with medical miracles and I have no qualms about taking advantage of them. Best of luck and congrats on recognizing the problem now and seeking help.
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