Happy Mothers Day!

Just for laughs. Hope you all have a wonderful day!


You Know You're a Mother When ...

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your kid throws-up and you catch it.

Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.

You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.

You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.

You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything".


Things I learned from my mother:

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me about FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

8. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

9. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

10. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

12. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

13. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

14. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

15. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

16. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you'll be cold?"

17. My mother taught me about HUMOR.
"When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

18. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

19. My mother taught me about GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

20. My mother taught me about WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

21. My mother taught me about SHARING.
" I’m going to give you a piece of my mind!"

22. My mother taught me about FEAR.
"One day you'll have a child who'll do the same things to you."