Hi guys,
I need help. I have a child (5 years old) who takes FOREVER to eat, get dressed, and pretty much do anything I ask him to do. Meals can last up to 1 hour if I let him go at his own speed (which doesn't usually happen, but just to give you the idea). I am worried that when he starts kindergarten next fall we are going to battle every morning and he is going to walk out the door crying and I will be frustrated... and I can only imagine how he'll do with the 15 minute lunch break they give the kids. I have to ask him 5 times to do everything. Does anyone have any kids like this or good ideas? I am spent and feeling particularly frustrated this morning.
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I have a child like that, but she is a girl.
Yesterday we tried cleaning her room, mostly together, but when I would leave the room she would start playing. It never got all the way clean. I just got so frustrated with her that I decided to give it a rest for the day.
At dinner she is still at the table for 1-2 hours after everyone else. I have to ask her 5 or more times to do things. I think her main problem is distraction. It could also be genetic because I have an older sister who takes 3-5 hours to get ready to go out and doesn't like to get out of bed until noon. I also have an aunt who takes two hours to eat a bowl of oatmeal. My aunt is in her late forties and my sister is 35.
With my daughter I just have to keep after her and help her get ready every morning. My 8 year old pops out of bed every morning, feeds himself breakfast, gets himself dressed, brushes his teeth and does his hair and does it all so fast he always has time to read for 10-20 minutes before the bus comes. He is also always out to the bus stop on time or a few minutes early.
My daughter is not a morning person. She will go back to sleep after I have woken her up. She won't get dressed without my help and cries if I want her to get dressed on her own. Breakfast is a nightmare. Some mornings I only give her 10 pieces of frosted miniwheats cereal and enough milk to cover them and she still only eats half and I usually have to feed it to her. She runs out of time because she dawdles so much that half the time she ends up still brushing her teeth when we hear the bus coming down the street. Luckily the bus stop is only one house up the road from ours. We end up sprinting for the bus stop with me trying to brush her hair on the run or feed her a couple bites of toast. Once she was so behind that the nice bus driver BACKED the bus down to our house because she saw Emma trying to run to catch the bus and all the other neighborhood kids were on it already. Saying all this we have only missed the bus twice all year.
In kindergarten last year she was always the last one eating lunch and would come home with a still full lunch box. But, her drawings and paintings are beautiful and so detailed. Her handwriting is way more legible than my eight year old's. She is super creative and can play by herself for hours if left alone to her own devices. So there are some benefits to taking her time, I just wish she could get dressed and eat more speedily.
Ollie doesn't take a long time to finish a meal, but I do have to ask him several times to do most things, which can be very frustrating. One thing that helps him is to give him time warnings. Lots of them. I say, "Ollie, it's time to brush your teeth in 5 minutes...3 minutes...1 minute" I try to let him know what to expect in advance, because it's hard for him to change activities spur of the moment. I still have to supervise and help him with most of these tasks, but at least it's not a battle to get him to do it.
I am so glad I am not alone in this. Thanks for putting the part about the positive aspects of this personality type... it reminded me that Sam does have many of the same talents that your daughter has. I'll try to think more about those things when I am struggling with the others. My next line of action is going to be a timer or hour glass at the table, I think. As for asking him multiple times to do things... I guess all kids do this to some extent, but it's so hard when his little sister, who is 3 has eaten breakfast, gotten dressed , and has her shoes on before he's even finished breakfast. It's killing me.
Has he always been like that? I hope Kenzi didn't rub off on him. She's the same way. I just give her a 5 minute warning and then I clean up her food. If she hasn't eaten much I remember not to give her lots of snacks so she will eat at the next meal. It works for the most part. I also do what Katy does with the time warnings. That is essential with my kids, especially Kenzi.
Good luck. Hope you can nip it in the bud before he starts school. It is SO frustrating when they have to be somewhere. That's mostly why I chose afternoon kindergarten instead of morning. More time to get ready.
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